Last summer I took six 8th graders to a local convenience store to pick out snacks for our team meeting. I was amazed that in less than a minute inside the store, the clerk had already reprimanded the students for being too rowdy (they weren’t). He told us to quickly choose our purchases and leave, and hovered over us the entire time we stayed—even after I told him I was an adult supervising the students and that they would behave (he didn’t believe me).

What a reminder that our culture often makes middle schoolers feel like a nuisance just by showing up. And the last place students need to feel that judgment is in their youth ministry.

Is your ministry aimed at high schoolers with younger students thrown in? Or do you plan for middle schoolers to be a part of your ministry? Focusing your gatherings on high schoolers but inviting middle schoolers will leave you frustrated and your middle school students feeling, again, like a nuisance. 

In addition to building relationships that honor your younger students, planning to include them—and their age-specific needs—in your gatherings will show them great love and value, which of course, inspires them to follow Jesus and be contributors to the ministry.

A few tips in planning for middle schoolers:

1.Look for age-appropriate opportunities to break out in small group discussions, form teams, etc. Most middle schoolers rise in maturity and leadership if they are not surrounded by older students who tend to take over if grouped together.

2.Acknowledge their age-specific challenges in your teaching. The specific relational issues and peer pressures middle schoolers face are not exactly the same as older students. Without addressing their needs, they will feel like you’re talking over their heads.

3.If you have the means, do a “middle-school-only” activity once a month or even once a quarter. Even if you have just 2-3 students this age, it’s worth giving them age-appropriate time.

4.Encourage middle schoolers to bring friends—and plan for them too! The more you affirm younger students that this is their ministry and you care about helping them thrive in it, the easier including a middle school mindset will become.

~ Laura Slezak