Cliques.

A well-worn word and a well-worn reality in the world of jr. high...one that will always be a part of our ministry with 11-14 year olds.

The classic response is that cliques are bad. A clique of three girls herd to the bathroom and leave Girl #4 standing by the wall in the youth room, her self-esteem draining by the second.

The second-look response is that cliques are good. A small group of boys who will actually band together & pray for each is a modern miracle, not a problem!

Whichever way you lean, don’t we ultimately just want to see middle schoolers build healthy, life-changing friendships that err on the side of including, not excluding?

Follow...

Jesus formed his own clique in calling only 12 young men to follow him closely.  Sometimes they ditched the crowds and spent exclusive time together. Sometimes he even got away with only Peter & John, leaving the other 10 behind.

Fish...

The genius of Jesus’ clique is that from the beginning, he challenged & trained them to be outward-focused with their friendships--to “fish for men”--like the time he paired them up and sent them out on a terrifying domestic missions trip (see Luke 9). In these moments they need each other & a stronger bond is forged under the challenge, but their focus is on helping others, not on satisfying themselves.

What if middle school cliques became mini-missions teams? What if they made their close friendships a safe place to include someone new?

What if instead of spending most of our precious contacting time with the students who clamor for our attention or are easy to connect with, we challenged the easy-access kids to bring along someone on the fringe, someone who doesn’t know Jesus, someone who needs a friend, next time you hang out?

This month’s free PDF download is 6 Fun Mixer-Uppers for groups of middle schoolers. Games, small group & prayer times are great opportunities to mix up cliques and set up students to be more inclusive in their friendships! I hope these ideas help.

Imagine what could happen if our middle schoolers really get that loving OTHERS is at the core of following Jesus...like the disciples did...

They might just change the world too.

~ Laura Wampach